When you drop a pebble in the center of a calm lake, the reaction created is a series of concentric circles that ripple across the water to the most distant shore touching everything in its wake. So it is with coaching and leadership. Who you are and what you do comes from your center, your essence and as you talk,guide, mentor and teach, your words ripple outward impacting and influencing all within your world. And that influence is never neutral... your body language, tone, words, habits and behaviors will either light the fires of passion in those you coach and lead OR douse their flames. To create growth and change in others, follow the advice of Gandhi who teaches us to be the change you want to see. In a word: MODEL. Model the behavior you expect others to emulate. I am always perplexed by coaches who demand fitness and wellness from their athletes and then proceed to stand on the sidelines chatting and laughing and watching as the athletes run, lift weights and stretch their bodies to keep fit. What message does that send? When I coach a team, I always expect myself to do what I ask of them. I RUN, LIFT and STRETCH with them. I recall when a nutrition expert was talking to a group of athletes and everyone was tuned out. At first I thought the athletes were being rude but the truth was, this "expert" was severely overweight. Why would they listen to him?
History tells us that in ancient times, the most respected generals did not seek comfort. They purposefully experienced the same adverse conditions...toil, hunger, thirst, cold...as their soldiers. They modeled what they expected from those they led. My dad was a high ranking officer in the New York City fire department. He often led a group of tentative, scared men into burning buildings carrying the hose and showing them how it was to be done. He was fearless and performed that way. The men were in awe of this warrior, admired him and became willing to go to battle under his guidance. In today's parlance, "he walked the talk"...he had integrity and courage. He created the ripple effect and to this day he is remembered, 45 years after retirement, as an extraordinary leader.
Let the following questions help to guide you towards modeling what you want from those you lead:
1) How do you cope with failure?
2)How do you handle pressure and adversity ?
3)How do you exhibit patience and persistence?
4)How do you create balance and congruity in your daily life?
5)How do you deal with criticism?
6)How do you listen?
7)How do you give to others?
8)How do you accept responsibility and be accountable for your actions?
9)How do you do all that you can to be the best you can be?
0)How do you show respect and trust in others?
How you express yourself with the above is how others will learn to express these items as well. You are the pebble and they are the recipients of it's wake. Again, WALK YOUR TALK. My rule of thumb when in leadership roles is: Never ask of others what you do not do yourself... or at the very least mimick in your own life on some scale. My favorite leadership/ coaching story along these lines is about the time I was invited to give a key note talk at the NIKE/China convention on Leadership. The day before my talk there was a 5K race with 135 participants from the conference...all of them senior executives with an average age of 30. I managed to win the race handily much to the surprise to this young group.( they couldn't imagine this older guy being able to outrun them) I can tell you that I have never had such extraordinary attention at my presentation the following morning. They were ready to follow every word. I was able to use the race to my advantage. I lead with my heart, legs and passion and they seemed ready to follow where ever I went with the discussion, whatever I said . BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE. DocJ
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