INSECURE LEADERS

      So many who call themselves coaches or leaders operate out of fear... the fear of losing control over those they lead. This need to control stems from what I believe is a basic sense of insecurity, of believing that to be successful, you must force, manipulate or coerce others into doing it your way...or the highway. Farmer's have learned through experience that if you want to control the cows, move the fences back.  Only when you are willing to let go of excessive control will you,your team and others enjoy true learning and victory. Confucius says that great leaders "guide others and do not pull them along; urges them to go forward by opening the way,yet refuses to take them there".
      The TAO teaches that true leadership is to lead like you fry a delicate fish... lightly. Restrictions,rules, and regulations should be used but sparingly. Too many controls are not only difficult to enforce, they create counter-reactions from those being controlled and paradoxically, the leader loses control. Make smart boundaries, be firm within those and give others the chance to breathe and let their creative juices flow. Be like a good waiter...give them the choices/options, stand back and away and enter again when needed. "With good leaders and coaches, when their work is done,their task fulfilled,the people will say: 'we have done it ourselves' ". This quote taken from the Tao Te Ching( ancient Chinese book for leadership) reminds us that it's all about those you lead, not you,the leader. We are surrounded by so-called leaders and coaches who micro-manage incessantly and fail to see the big picture of developing,orchestrating,choreographing a highly productive, creative and functional environment. CONTROL stifles the process of extraordinary leadership because those we lead will find ways to sabotage all your efforts. They will feel anger and resentment and lose respect for you. Control is a form of manipulation that creates distrust and suspicion. Motivation and team spirit diminish in controlling environments. Set wise limits and then turn them loose as they discover their own greatness. Remember, every leader and coach need their students and athletes as much as they need you.
And remember the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated. YES???