Here is a segment of my best seller, WIN THE DAY, that emphasizes the importance of connection and caring with those under your guidance as a coach, mentor, parent, teacher. See if it resonates with you. Take to heart, how to implement this concept.
"The greatness of a man is not how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." Bob Marley
Perhaps the most challenging task of any coach is how to influence those they lead in a positive, forward moving manner. It is simple yet not easy; your influence can create or it can destroy; it can light a fire in an athlete’s belly or it can douse the flames. Understand this: your influence is powerful yet never neutral. I am always aware of this when I compete, speak, teach, mentor, parent, or coach. My body language, my tone, my expressions, my gestures, my words all have an impact on how things transpire. So does my behavior. One of my favorite things to do when I meet a team is to run up a hull together. By so doing, I demonstrate my willingness to experience what they do in training. I am leading by example using powerful influence I knowingly have. Ancient generals were considered influential because they were willing to experience the same heat, cold, toil, hunger, thirst and danger as their soldiers and were respected and admired because of this influential behavior.
When I enter a room full of coaches and athletes, I walk with a bounce, stand straight, keep my head up, look others in the eye and smile. The message I’m sending is “things are under control, all is fine, it’s all ok.” As a coach, the more often you become aware of the power of your influence, the more you have a say in the outcome, the direction athletes will go, what they do, and how they feel. It is that simple. When I am coaching one of my teams I usually begin the sessions by inviting the athletes to“huddle up” close, forming a tight series of concentric circles (assuming there are 25 or so athletes on the team) around me. This communicates togetherness, kindness, oneness, connectedness, and, most importantly, a sense of goodness. Then I say the following: “I love being here; I love being with you. There’s not another place I’d rather be or another group of athletes I’d rather be with in this moment than with you.” This spoken truth is visibly felt deeply by the entire group. They truly believe I care and I do. I often will touch a shoulder and establish good eye contact with one person. Being aware of this power to influence others is to win the day. The athletes love it. We then go back to where we were, sitting, standing, milling around and I have their full, undivided, respectful attention. By doing this, I set a positive, heart-directed caring tone for all the good work we will then do together.
IMPLEMENTATION:
When back into our circle, I love to involve them in a powerful influential experience with their smart phones. I ask everyone to chose someone they deeply care about and text them a short message expressing your care, love and how important and valued they are to you. Once completed, I instruct them to turn off their devices for the next hour, giving them time to receive a response. When the time is up, we go back to this exercise, turn phones on and share the responses. Some are quite funny and even strange but they all tell a story about the power we have to influence others in a positive way. Sometimes tears of joy are noticeable and laughter is hardy yet the caring and influences are remarkable. Try this with your group, then have them communicate like this with each other, telling someone how important and valued they are to you and the team. Something else you can try with your team is to ask the following questions:
What do you need to start doing that you’re not doing in order to demonstrate the power of your influence in a positive way?
What do you need to stop doing that you are doing in order to demonstrate the power of your influence in a positive way?
The answers to these questions will provide information valuable in helping the athletes and staff to create positive shifts in the win the day culture. In fact, I inform the team that when we demonstrate such caring, positive action we actually do win the day.
If he were alive today, I’m certain that Bob Marley would have said the words in the opening quote.
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