LISTENING WITH OPEN HEART

 Here is an excerpt from Win The Day... it's perhaps the most important skill to have not just as a leader, coach, athlete but as a person in all relationships of life. I practice listening by asking a lot of questions. When another responds to these questions,. I listen and then validate their response when possible.

Be a good listener; it makes the person who’s speaking to you feel loved, cared for and worthy of being heard.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, Author

Coach Cindy Timchall, iconic coach of NAVY women’s lacrosse, believes that listening more than any other coaching skill is what inspires and empowers her athletes. According to her, it’s the most powerful tool to demonstrate caring for athletes.

In a recent interview with sports psychologist Greg Dale, Coach Mike Krzyzewski mentions how he believes “you show someone you care about them by being willing to listen to them. There is no better way.” He goes on to state that “there couldn’t be any time better spent than listening” to your athletes, staff, family and friends. When we listen with an open heart, we win the day.

It has been said that he who listens with an open heart understands. Listening is one of the most crucial skills a coach can develop. Because so many of us feel that we need to talk in order to teach, listening is often overlooked. What I have observed over the years is that the very popular, well-liked coaches as we read about above are, indeed, good listeners.

John Wooden was a good listener. In his words, “listen to those under your supervision. Really listen. Don’t act as though you’re listening and let go in one ear and out the other.” It has been observed that three out of four leaders and coaches will interrupt their staff and athletes on average, within 15 seconds of the start of a conversation. Such a practice precludes you from truly learning from others what you need to know in order to do your best work. How can you build a strong relationship in this way?

Listening is an extraordinary way to demonstrate caring, respect, love and integrity. Learning and teaching are more easily and joyfully exchanged through good listening as well. It is a way to make the athlete feel wanted, valued, worthwhile, and understood. Isn’t this exactly what all coaches desire for their athletes? Those we lead feel the same way. And what better tool to use in order to develop solid relationships...and, therefore, win the day.