FEELINGS = FUNCTION

 Here is the start of how I  win the relationship game in athletics and in my life. It will be a series of Blogs starting right here. This is from my book, WIN THE DAY. 

Most coaches and teachers believe that what they say and do is what really matters to others. Perhaps we all would be wiser if we focused on caring and helping others feel awesome. And why not? Every book I’ve read or written, every class or conference I’ve ever taken, every championship team I’ve ever helped has taught me a life-changing truth: Feelings = Function. How we as human beings perform is directly related to how we feel. Think about it: The last time you felt tired, sad, depressed, distracted, confused, upset, insecure, stressed, uncertain or miserable, how did you perform? Think about those moments when you felt confident, energized, focused, happy, grateful, valued, respected, relevant, relaxed and calm. No comparison, right? Creating environments where others feel good is how to win the day.

One of the first essential absolutes present in all championship cultures is the emphasis on how athletes and coaches feel and care for each other. To win the day, we must commit to helping others feel welcome, feel present and feel cared for – caring being the single most important element of a winning culture. And, as coaches and athletes we are able to make others feel good. It is controllable.

IMPLEMENTATION:

How can we best demonstrate our caring for each other? It’s not about connecting my professional coaching head to your head. It’s about connecting my human heart to your human heart to show how much I care for you. Let me help you to feel this.

To connect my heart to yours, I imagine that I open the little door to my heart and become mindful of how I care for you. This “open door” policy reminds me to be caring, genuine, authentic and vulnerable. I can then tell you, as I did in the section on Power of Influence: “I love being with you. There’s not another team (person) I’d rather be with than you right now.” How does that make you feel? How do you think your athletes would feel if they heard this? Have you ever said this to an athlete? Why not? To not do this, there’s a chance you could lose them. To do it, you increase thechance of getting your team to go the distance, to work harder, to be loyal, become mentally tougher and win the day. Performance on and off the court is all about feelings...how you feel is how you’ll perform. It’s really quite simple. When you care for your athletes like this you are winning the day. In the words of actor Edward Albert, “The simple act of caring is heroic.”

How you impact another as to how they feel can be determined by what I call the R.I.V.E.R. effect. What this is and how it works will be looked at in the next BLOG called the River Effect. Stay tuned.