LEADING & COACHING,AUTHENTICALLY

The first time many years ago when I walked into a classroom to teach, I needed to wear my professional "mask". I felt I couldn't do my work without it. Standing behind a desk, covering up fears and inadequacies, advertising my credentials, afraid to make a mistake or look silly, wearing the impressive clothes were some of the ways I attempted to hide my insecurity and protect my role.

Now, many,many years later, with more experience and wisdom plus a boat load of achievements and credentials, I feel I can't do my work WITH the mask. Others see and feel the mask as a barrier to connection, caring and ultimately, a good relationship, so vital to making a difference in the lives of others. My goal has been to focus not on our differences but how we are alike.  I refuse to trade my humble heart and sense of humanity in for looking like an expert.

Every year I get closer to getting "mask-free" and emotionally "naked" on the never ending journey towards full authenticity. It takes courage and the willingness to take risks to "show up and be seen" in the words of researcher/author Brene Brown.  I continue to work at being unapologetically me. It's a frightening place to visit yet it is absolutely essential if I hope to remain sensitive, caring, respectful, authentic and genuine so as to truly make a difference in the lives of others. It requires me to lean into this fearful, scary place and that takes courage....BUT, I can tell you that when I have the presence of heart to do this, it is so worth it.

The result of being authentic is I gain the trust and respect of others and they, become loyal, secure, enthusiastic and committed to "going the distance" with me. This demands "outside-the-box" behavior, out on the edge, fearlessly fighting to win the hearts of my athletes.

Such authenticity means you must trust yourself...to be comfortable in your own skin....to see all of your work as a path of humanity and we all are humans just like those we lead and coach. Engage in conversation that unites not separates. For example, draw an athlete in by asking: "So, what is your go-to comfort food?". Everyone relates to that. Food is the universal connector. You'll be pleasantly surprised to see where this opening takes the conversation. And, in the process, we all act human. I remember The Dalai Lama once telling an audience that he was just like us all...same fears, concerns, troubles, desires. He was authentic and from that place, he could lead me and I would follow.

Whenever I am in a leadership role, I purposefully remind myself to "let it all go and just BE ME". That is all I need to do to continue to be effective in that role. That's how I can connect more deeply and more authentically.