So here is an excerpt from my book WIN THE DAY. FYI, my writing here is a way to inspire you to consider various aspects of leadership, this one being vulnerability. In the book , I include ways to implement these aspects but for blog purposes, I just have a certain amount of space so often times that implementation is not included. Here we go. Remember, VULNERABILITY is interesting. It is something we ADMIRE in others yet for ourselves, it is not easy.
Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. It’s about showing up and being seen.
Brené Brown, Ph.D.
Being vulnerable is a strength often related to being authentic. Great coaches are not afraid to be authentically vulnerable and admit they made a mistake or say “that loss is on me, I didn’t prepare us well enough.” Steve Kerr is such a coach. He’ll apologize to players if he keeps players on the bench too long. If a player has a disagreement with him about how he’s being used, he listens and doesn’t take it personally.
This trait is a value rarely found in the coaching profession or among athletes in all sports. We struggle with being authentic and vulnerable because we think of it as weakness while in actuality it is strength. It demonstrates courage (see section on Courageousness). In the words of Brené Brown, Daring Greatly means the courage to be vulnerable.
I know from a personal perspective how much courage it takes to be authentic and vulnerable. I’ve been practicing with these values in my coaching for forty years. While I feel I’m only half way there, I keep experimenting with shedding my mask. My mission is not only to make a difference in the lives of others; it’s to master my craft. Every year I get closer to getting “mask-free: and emotionally “naked” on the never ending journey towards full authenticity. It takes courage and the willingness to take risks to “show up and be seen” in the words of researcher/author Brené Brown. I continue to work at being unapologetically me. It’s a frightening place to visit yet it is absolutely essential if I hope to be effective and remain sensitive, caring, respectful, authentic and genuine so as to truly make a difference in the lives of others. It requires me to lean into this fearful, scary place and that takes courage...BUT, I can tell you that when I have the presence of heart to do this, it is so worth it. Most people feel that in order to do their work well, they need a mask they can hide behind such as a title, adegree, a rank, a position. But for me, I can’t do my best work with a mask. I must put aside the Dr. Jerry Lynch, author, athlete mask, come out from behind it and meet you as a human being in all my flaws and imperfections. This is when I truly connect, heart to heart rather than head to head. That’swhen the real work begins.
Those of you who know me and have attended any of my conferences
and workshops know that I don’t use the stage, microphone, or title; I dress comfortably and do not own a “power suit;” I don’t hide behind notes or a lectern. I’m being the same person I am whether leading a group or swimming with my kids or talking with my friends. By being open and stripped of the entire “professional garb” as it were, I can be thoroughly seen and be someone whom I would feel comfortable around. Why do I do this? I do this because I’ve learned that if I want to make a difference, I must connect and meet my audience where they’re at. I must be willing to look silly, make mistakes, forget what I said, fail and even risk you not liking me.
My attitude is that we’re all the same...human beings not human doings...who are here to help each other learn by sharing that part of ourselves. I need to learn from you what I need to know so that I can help you to know what you need to learn. It’s that simple. I still get caught up into the “professional trap” and I can feel the distance between our hearts set in. I refuse to connect head to head because no growth takes place. So I try each time I get the opportunity to make a difference to show up and be seen – or in my case, be experienced. The result of being authentic and vulnerable is I gain the trust and respect of others and they become loyal, secure, enthusiastic and committed to “going the distance” with me. This demands “outside-the-box” behavior, out on the edge, fearlessly fighting to win the hearts of my athletes.
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