THE LAST DAY,THE LAST POST

Here we are, the end of 2020. Most of us are ready to move on into the coming year excited about change and the creation of possibilities not disabilities. To help in that effort, I have written and published my next book, THE COMPETITIVE BUDDHA, due in late May of 2021. I promise you that the issues we had to confront during COVID are addressed within...impermanence, detachment, courage, faith, hope, integrity, selflessness and others, all related to sports and life. It serves you as a tool kit for navigating these unchartered waters during a pandemic and offers a spiritual path to guide all of us to being the best version of ourselves and up our game in life. here is amnestying excerpt from the introduction: 

This book is not just for those in athletics but for anyone interested in the potential of the human spirit. I simply use the arena of athletics as a vehicle to explore leadership and masterful performance in sports and all arenas of life. In his classic tome, Golf in the Kingdom, Michael Murphy talks about developing “astronauts of inner space” who break through to levels of awareness not yet explored by the human race. I hope to scratch the surface of this concept and help all of us be such explorers.

My book is not an impeccable masterpiece on Buddhist thought. Writing this book was a daunting task. I was overwhelmed at times because there is so much to comprehend, so much to know. So, I decided to stick to basic simple truths that I can get my head wrapped around. I don’t claim to know much but what I do know, I will share with you as I have with many others over a 40-year career in athletics.

Here is my attempt to bring well-chosen and selective laws, principles, and strategies of the Buddha into the world of sports to help heighten the joy and happiness while reducing the suffering in our lives. Sport is one of the few activities in life that addresses the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of full capacity living, making it an invaluable vehicle for such growth. I’m a life-long student of philosophy, psychology and sport.

I’m humbly aware that I am no scholar. I’m a thoughtful, observant jock with a deep spiritual connection helping me to master my craft. I’m not a Zen Buddhist but I practice each day how to be a better version of myself by attending to the teachings of the Buddha. I am the hole in a flute through which comes the breath of those brilliant Buddhist minds, from me to you.

I’ve been at it for most of my life and after 40 years of coaching, teaching, writing, performing, I am only half way there. I am a spiritual seeker, a spiritual wanderer and wonderer looking for and discovering ways that appear to make sense, especially in the world of sports where I’ve been attached at the hip since I discovered a ball at the age of five. I’m trying to figure it out. Sports has been an awesome venue to ask the bigger, deeper questions. Everything I am today has been heavily influenced by sport and my years as a competitive athlete, coach and teacher.

Have a very joyful, peaceful, loving and connective new year. See you at the beginning as I continue to use this avenue to make a difference in the lives of all who read within.

Much Love and chi,

Jerry

DORMANT LEADERSHIP

 Here is a concept I talk about in my best seller, THE WAY OF THE CHAMPION.

Check this out.

I have have observed that every one of us has the extraordinary potential to be a leader. In fact, I believe we are all leaders yet for various interesting reasons, those innate, natural traits remain beneath the surface of our persona...in a word, they acquire the status of being DORMANT...asleep, untapped, hidden, obfuscated ( what does that mean?), frozen in time only to be thawed when the need appears. For example, there is a story about some people standing around watching a young boy pinned under the wheel of a car that rolled down the driveway only to come to a stop on top of his little body. Amid the frantic crowd appears a 65 year old woman who lifts the car and directs the others to pull the boy from under the tire. She demonstrated the leadership qualities of courage, determination, integrity, fearlessness, sacrifice, commitment, and audacity, traits she never believed existed within her.

Now, because I believe we all have leadership traits, I also believe that not everyone of us must or should be leaders. Even if you are considered by others to be a good leader , it not a good enough reason to take on that role. You must have love and passion for wanting to serve others in this way... you must be eager and willing and ready to demonstrate those special qualities that we all have to different degrees. For those who choose not this path of leading,coaching,mentoring,parenting...that is just fine but know you choose so, not because you can't but because you exercise your power of choice. Ironically enough such a decision is, indeed, a leadership trait...so there, you are a leader who coaches yourself to follow the path of your own heart.

OK? Now, here is an exercise for us to do. List 10 traits that you will find in good leaders you have known. Be brutally honest and underline 3 of those traits that you believe you have or are capable of demonstrating at various times. Now, if you have been wanting to show leadership but have had the "I feel this is not me" syndrome, take those three traits and write

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down all the ways throughout the day that you can demonstrate these as a way to give and serve others from this place of leadership. Keep it simple,keep it specific then proceed to watch how others respond to you and how you feel about exercising what were dormant traits. Only do this and be this way IF you have had the inkling to dabble with something new. SIMPLE yet NOT EASY...Yes?

I'm leading myself away from writing...getting somewhat antsy to lead myself up the mountain and follow some deer... GOOD Leadership is a give and take...leading and following...it's BOTH.

DocJ

TRUSTING LEADERSHIP PROCESS

 The mighty Mississippi River moves slowly at times, only to rapidly speed up in the narrows. Then as it reverses direction and it appears like it is off course returning to the start... only to reverse itself again as it heads to it's destination, a total of 2,348 miles. If you were in a kayak on the river, you might get nervous and think you were going in the wrong direction. If you trusted the flow you would know that it was a temporary setback and not get out of the boat and give up on your journey because you trust that if you stay the course, you will arrive at your destination. The journey of extraordinary leadership is like the river...it has many reversals, setbacks, failures and losses. You will plateau, slow down, stand still and then speed up and experience the "rapids of growth". All of this movement is a natural progression in your evolving process of being an extraordinary leader or coach. This is a process no different than those you lead experience. We are all in the same boat so to speak and this is the point where compassion for each others journey takes place. Only the great leaders and coaches of all time acknowledge,trust and accept this natural process to be so. When you grow daises, you would never think of pulling them up in order to accelerate their growth as they break through the soil for the first time. You trust that they will grow when ready, one millimeter at a time. The journey of evolving as a leader and coach may be slow. No need to panic or be fearful. After 35 years of functioning in leadership and coaching capacities, I imagine that I am perhaps only half way there still experiencing the setbacks and failures, learning from them and continue to go forward because I love the ride...it has been an amazing journey of growth, fulfillment and joy amid the setbacks and failures. To help you with the process remember the following:

1)it's not about you, it's about them.

2)stay emotionally engaged to them, love them for their pure intentions.

3)know the difference between what you can and can not control. HINT: you can't control them.

4)forget about outcomes and focus on the process. 5)be real,be open,be receptive and be service oriented.

Let me say that I do not pretend to have answers... just some observations. It has been said that there are two ways to obtain wisdom: PAINLESSLY from a teacher or PAINFULLY from life. I have discovered that the latter is far superior. You must learn to be a warrior leader through the ups and downs like the river. I simply offer practical guidelines to help you to trust and stay the course on these unchartered and turbulent waters of extraordinary leadership. MEDITATION, I have found, is one way to help stay focused,calm and relaxed throughout this process. Read my book, "The Way of the Champion" for more on how to develop the skill of meditation. Also, my book, THE COMPETITIVE BUDDHA, due in late Spring of 2021 has a whole part Three on such leadership

 

THE RIPPLE EFFECT

 When you drop a pebble in the center of a calm lake, the reaction created is a series of concentric circles that ripple across the water to the most distant shore touching everything in its wake. So it is with coaching and leadership. Who you are and what you do comes from your center, your essence and as you talk,guide, mentor and teach, your words ripple outward impacting and influencing all within your world. And that influence is never neutral... your body language, tone, words, habits and behaviors will either light the fires of passion in those you coach and lead OR douse their flames. To create growth and change in others, follow the advice of Gandhi who teaches us to be the change you want to see. In a word: MODEL. Model the behavior you expect others to emulate. I am always perplexed by coaches who demand fitness and wellness from their athletes and then proceed to stand on the sidelines chatting and laughing and watching as the athletes run, lift weights and stretch their bodies to keep fit. What message does that send? When I coach a team, I always expect myself to do what I ask of them. I RUN, LIFT and STRETCH with them. I recall when a nutrition expert was talking to a group of athletes and everyone was tuned out. At first I thought the athletes were being rude but the truth was, this "expert" was severely overweight. Why would they listen to him?

History tells us that in ancient times, the most respected generals did not seek comfort. They purposefully experienced the same adverse conditions...toil, hunger, thirst, cold...as their soldiers. They modeled what they expected from those they led. My dad was a high ranking officer in the New York City fire department. He often led a group of tentative, scared men into burning buildings carrying the hose and showing them how it was to be done. He was fearless and performed that way. The men were in awe of this warrior, admired him and became willing to go to battle under his guidance. In today's parlance, "he walked the talk"...he had integrity and courage. He created the ripple effect and to this day he is remembered, 45 years after retirement, as an extraordinary leader.

Let the following questions help to guide you towards modeling what you want from those you lead:

1) How do you cope with failure?
2)How do you handle pressure and adversity ?
3)How do you exhibit patience and persistence?
4)How do you create balance and congruity in your daily life?
5)How do you deal with criticism?
6)How do you listen?
7)How do you give to others?
8)How do you accept responsibility and be accountable for your actions? 9)How do you do all that you can to be the best you can be?
0)How do you show respect and trust in others?

How you express yourself with the above is how others will learn to express these items as well. You are the pebble and they are the recipients of it's wake. Again, WALK YOUR TALK. My rule of thumb when in leadership roles is: Never ask of others what you do not do yourself... or at the very least mimick in your own life on some scale. My favorite leadership/ coaching story along these lines is about the time I was invited to give a key note talk at the NIKE/China convention on Leadership. The day before my talk there was a 5K race with 135 participants from the conference...all of them senior executives with an average age of 30. I managed to win the race handily much to the surprise to this young group.( they couldn't imagine this older guy being able to outrun them) I can tell you that I have never had such extraordinary attention at my presentation the following morning. They were ready to follow every word. I was able to use the race to my advantage. I lead with my heart, legs and passion and they seemed ready to follow wherever I went with the discussion, whatever I said . BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE said Gandhi.

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ORGANIC WARRIOR LEADERSHIP

 Here is something I give thought to every time I am given the privilege of being in a leadership role.

It is called Organic Leadership. Be a farmer!

Most who call themselves coach/leader are using what seems to be an industrial model, a linear, authoritative approach based on conformity. They seem to "manufacture" good soldiers who follow orders. The Warrior Leader, on the other hand, uses a creative agricultural model, one that is organic in nature not mechanical. They are able to establish environments of "good soil" where others will flourish. They are willing and able to "customize" conditions to the circumstances of a situation depending on individual differences and needs. With such personalized leadership, they "grow" proteges who, rather than follow orders from others like a good soldier, they follow the orders of their hearts. The difference between the two styles is drastic: the first model is akin to eating greasy "fast food" while that of the Warrior leader feeds on organic, healthy gourmet fare. The former is more financially, physically and spiritually costly . The latter energizes,inspires, and empowers the spirit...good "soul food". What model do you prefer? Can I take your order? Can I fill your cup with love and heart?

Keep shining, DocJ

THE DANCING COACH

 Wow...two blogs in one day... This is the perfect follow up to the Leader's Creed the post that was just written. This is about the dual DANCE that great coaches and leaders do to be most effective. Give this some thought and see how it impacts and even empowers you with your athletes.

1) There is the dance between giving and receiving, receiving and learning.To be an effective leader,coach,teacher and mentor, you must be a good student and follower. I suggest that you be open,receptive and listen to those you lead because they can teach you about who they are and this will make your work more effective. When you accrue this wisdom, you,in turn, can lead and teach them as they can now more effectively follow and learn from your wisdom.

2) There is the dance between the two distinct axes of leadership, the first being performance management, the x's and o's of the business,sport or project...or life. The second axis , perhaps more important and crucial, is what I refer to as the Spiritual or Inspirational axis , allowing you to INSPIRE and EMPOWER those under your guidance. Oren Lyons,leader,caretaker and faith keeper of the Native American tradition and a member of the Onondaga Council of Chiefs,claims that you can't have effective leadership without spirituality. Without spirituality, you have a unidimensional approach which,in a word, is DISPASSIONATE, or the absence of heart. Without heart(love,caring,kindness,respect, positive regard,trust)you set a tone with a team, organization,family or individual that is UNSAFE,unloving,uncaring and spiritless in a results-driven culture where failure is unacceptable and taking risks is discouraged. In this unsafe environment, progress and growth and change are inhibited and curtailed. Emotional cancer is abundant and proliferates. All involved suffer. What is needed is an environment of "emotional engagement", very much like being a good parent provides.

The ancient Taoist sage and author of "The Art of War", Sun- Tzu,reminds us about how to lead with HEART: "Regard your soldiers as your children,and they will follow wherever you lead. Look upon them as your beloved sons and they will stand by you until death".

All the great leaders and coaches today seek to inspire and empower others. They accomplish it in environments that are safe, where those they lead open their hearts and give permission for them to enter and that's where a leader's greatest INFLUENCE takes place, where others will begin to believe they can be something other than ordinary. Don't be a wallflower, don't sit out this dance. Waltz like a Warrior Leader and dance the dance.

A LEADER'S CREED

 Here is a rerun from the distant pass written back in 2011 as a blog. It is excerpted from my book called, COACHING WITH HEART, and this creed is the essence of how we remind ourselves to lead in this way.

 I WRITE AS I TALK...INCESSENTLY ONCE I BEGIN. But for this blog, I will cut to the chase and state what I believe to be the central belief of our sacred work of coaching/leading. It is something I have written after reading a statement by Rudolph Steiner on his approach to teaching and then, putting my spin on his philosophy:

REGARD THOSE YOU COACH & LEAD IN SACRED AWE,
COACH & LEAD THEM IN LOVE,
CREATE & CULTIVATE A PLACE OF HEART,
WHERE ALL BELIEVE THEY CAN BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN ORDINARY.

 I make this suggestion: place these words in a frame and hang it in a place where you can read it each day before you do your precious work with others.